Meet the Intimacy Doc
Hi, I’m Dr. Catalina Lawsin, PhD.
Ever wonder why sex is the last thing we talk about when it comes to health and wellbeing? It doesn’t even enter the conversation!
MY STORY
“I’ve learned that true, authentic, pure intimacy and connection is not only what we all long for, it’s essential for our overall wellness.”
Aside from always being my sister’s tag-along, I’ve never been a follower. I’m naturally loud, proud, outspoken, and full of personality. Yet consistently throughout my life there were rules on how I should be, who I should be, and what was expected of me.
My big personality wasn’t welcome in most of my educational or career environments. And quite honestly, I learned that in order to get what I wanted in life, I needed to disconnect from who I truly was.
Being a first-generation immigrant, and the minority in every social circle I was ever part of played into this behavior.
Who was I to complain or disrupt the status quo? I was lucky enough. I, after all, was completely privileged. What more could I possibly want? And what type of person was I to actually want something different?
My parents grew up on dirt floors in the Philippines, yet I was the one who bore witness to and experienced the abundant results of their hard work and risk.
As the recipient of this life of freedom, there was a lot of self-imposed pressure to appreciate what I had, and what that appreciation should look like. Because of this, I learned the hard truth about conditional love.
Results mattered. Status mattered. Judgements mattered. I had to do the most research, work the hardest, get the accolades, prove to myself (and in my mind, to others) that I was worthy of the privileged life I was given, prove I was worthy of love.
My own desires didn’t matter. And even my basic human needs didn’t matter, unless I was pleasing others.
Being a clinical psychologist, researcher, and professor in the field of sexual health over the last 2 decades, I’ve learned that true, authentic, pure intimacy and connection is not only what we all long for, it’s essential for our overall wellness. It is a basic human need.
Connecting to our own primal needs and desires, and allowing ourselves to be everything of ourselves with another person ultimately deepens our knowing of self and who we are at the most genuine level.
Yet somehow expressing this basic need has become shameful. For something so essential to our existence as a species, it is unsettling that such a sacred topic is considered too taboo to speak of openly.
I believe that by embracing and prioritizing our sexuality, we can break free from expectation and experience the transformation of holistic healing.
It’s time we got real about the reality of sexuality. Because I believe that regardless of who we love or where we came from, exponential bliss is our absolute birthright.
